The Great and Terrible Redglare
by I.Write.Love
Summary: Dave and John play pretend with their kids one snowy Washington day. Family!Dave/John. A request fic on Tumblr.


**This is what I'm doing instead of Christmas Stuck. In my defense, my friend Mimi on Tumblr went on a good paragraph idea rant on a Dave/John picture that she liked about how their kids would be and I couldn't help but to write it. And it's just so cute, I know no one would ever be able to resist it.**

**Yeah, and this probably has nothing to do with Neophyte Redglare. I was just feeling unoriginal. -shrug-**

**Disclaimer: The idea, strangely, was not mine! That kinda goes to my friend Mimi on Tumblr, and Becky Strider goes to her as well. Casey, Dave and John are owned by Hussie (Casey to some extent), and I really don't own anything! Except those chocolate chip pancakes and a shitty plastic sword. -nod-**

**Enjoy!**

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><p><strong>The Great and Terrible Redglare<strong>

It had snowed almost all night the night before, and when Dave woke up the next morning, school, work and anything else that he and John had to take care of was suddenly closed and canceled, freeing up their entire day. John had rolled out of bed before him, always better in the mornings than he was, even when they were younger (what was that? Like, six years ago?). The bed-head twenty-two year old rubbed at his red irises and yawned, staring up at the ceiling like it was the most interesting thing in the world, when there was suddenly a weight down on his stomach and bright blue eyes in his vision. "Daddy, you're awake!" Casey Strider exclaimed, looking back toward the door to her identical sister. "Becky, he's awake!"

The other six year old shrugged, trying not to look excited, but she was just a kid, even if she had the name Strider attached to the end. Becky looked off to the wall, trying to seem indifferent, but her small feet carefully brought her over to her father's bed, blue eyes full of adventure and enthusiasm, just like her sister's. "Dad says he's making pancakes for breakfast." The small golden-haired child said, shuffling her feet to keep herself from seeming too worked up over it. "So I guess you need to get up."

Casey nodded excitedly, moving off of Dave's chest and bouncing on the bed next to him, where John was probably a few hours before. "Yeah, Daddy! We know pancakes are your favorite!"

Dave sighed and stood from bed, not even bothering to change out of his sweat pants and red shirt, smirking at the sound of the two girls' feet padding out of the room and down the hallway. It was almost ridiculous that the two girls were so much like them when they were younger- Casey, excitedly blind about things, ready to watch the dumbest, crappiest movies and her eyes just mirror image of her dad with blonde hair, while Becky tried her hardest to be more reserved and composed, her love for the turn tables Dave had set up in the game room just like Dave's when he was young and Bro was teaching him the beat. The kids weren't even Dave's (in all technicalities, but that didn't mean he still didn't love the ever loving shit out of them and want to punch their mom in the face), but he both knew they tried hard to be like him and John both. It was endearing, and he didn't even know he had liked kids before this entire ordeal.

After lazily padding his way down the hall and down the stairs, he was met with the picturesque American family sitting in the kitchen over the biggest plate of pancakes in the middle of the table. Becky and Casey turned from their breakfast, strawberry and chocolate pancakes respectively, beaming. "Daaad~" Casey sang, "He's awake!"

With a few clangs and even a crash (Dave wondered what he had broken this time), John Egbert swung around the kitchen wall and smiled wide at the blonde, the same old goofy grin he had back in high school. "Good morning!" he greeted happily, brushing his hands off onto his jeans, blue eyes bright behind his glasses. "Becky suggested pancakes since both of you like them so much. I made you cherry pancakes." His buck tooth grin was warming, and a small squeak escaped his mouth when Dave wrapped his arms around his waist and pulled him in close for a small kiss on the cheek. Casey giggled a bit and Becky rolled her eyes as John turned red, even after all this time still affected by a small smooch on the cheek. "Dave… Really?"

Dave just smirked, reached behind John to grab the pile of cherry pancakes off the counter and then plopped down next to Becky. The golden blonde girl had her hair tied up in a single ponytail, high and held up with a red hair tie, her favorite color, and grinned up at Dave, her smile a bit lopsided. "'Sup?"

"Pancakes," Dave said, motioning toward the hotcakes in front of him, red from the cherries and covered in maple syrup. "'Sup with you?"

"Pancakes," Becky answered, and then broke into uncontained giggles that negated the Strider label at the end of her name.

He could forgive her.

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><p>After finishing up breakfast and then attempting to clean the kitchen which ended up in a grapefruit scented bubble fight, Becky and Casey sat down to let John fix their hair, brushing out the golden curls with their pink brush, Casey demanding double pigtails with her pastel blue ribbons, which wouldn't ever go with her bright yellow sweater and purple skirt, but neither of them had the heart to tell her, and Becky asking for another high ponytail with her red hair tie, going with a bit more sensibility to match her black jacket and jeans. Dave shifted off the couch, picking up some stray toys off the floor, and when he came to a small plastic sword he chuckled. "Hey, Daddy?"<p>

He turned, looking at Becky, who had her cheeks puffed out a bit in concentration, thinking over her next question carefully. "Can you teach me how to fight like you used to fight Uncle Bro?" The blue eyed girl asked, quietly, but caught John's attention, who was still busy with Casey's hair, and he sent that look that said _"I'm not going to tell you not to do it, but just don't hurt her."_ The fact John would even think he'd hurt Becky was kind of insulting, but he brushed it off.

"Sure kiddo. Grab your sword." She brightened up and cheered a bit, grabbing the samurai sword off the ground and jumping up and down.

This caught Casey's attention, looking at them with big blue eyes that screamed she was being left out. "I wanna learn, too! Can I?" She looked interested, clutching her fists into the fabric of her oversized sweater. "Please, please, please?"

"Of course. C'mon. I didn't buy two for no reason."

They girls cheered, Casey grabbing the knight sword on the floor next to the TV and bouncing happily next to Becky. Their identical blue eyes shimmered up at Dave expectantly, waiting for his first lesson. He smiled a little down at them. "First thing you need to know is even if your dad tells you your princesses, doesn't mean you have to act like one." They nodded, soaking in every word. "You can stick up for yourself, got it? Now, hold your sword with both hands like this." He positioned his hands on the hilt, the feeling familiar and nostalgic, his right before his left and holding it out in front of him, like he was ready to fight. Becky and Casey mirrored him, even holding the sword like he was, too. He smiled. "Now, to swing, just pull it back over your shoulder," he watched as they repeated, "and then bring it down quickly."

They were careful, bringing the swords down just a few inches from Dave's arms, and then smirking like they had just accomplished the biggest feat in the history of the world. Like the Great Wall of China had nothing on them. The twins then blinked, and looked over to John, who had been watching the adorable display by the couch, and then back to Dave, who stood in front of them. "I know what we can do, now!" Casey exclaimed, grinning toothily, showing off that gap in the front where she had lost her baby tooth. "Daddy," she pointed at Dave, "you'll be the big scary dragon that attacks the village, and Dad," she pointed to John, "you can be the knight who comes to rescue us, but then gets his in trouble!"

Dave cocked an eyebrow, seeing the girls glance excitedly back and forth between them, and John's curious look that read _'What the heck?'_. But, he aimed to please, so he crouched down behind the couch, waited for a minute, then sprang back up, giving his best dragon impression he could muster, roaring at John. "I am the great and terrible Redglare!" he said in the deepest voice he could get, watching as John's face changed from confused to absolutely entertained, the black-haired twenty-two-year old holding back laughter. "I am here to eat Princess Casey and Princess Becky!"

The girls started giggling as John stood, grabbing the other spare sword off the ground and pointing it toward Dave. "Not if I can't help it! I am the mighty and brave Lord Egbert, and I am here to protect the princesses if it means death!" He exclaimed dramatically, motioning toward Becky and Casey. "You two must take cover! I will defeat this evil dragon!"

Becky and Casey scampered off to the corner, watching with fascination as Dave jumped over the back of the couch and sprang off the cushions, tackling John to the ground. "Now I will eat you then get the princesses!" Dave roared, leaning down, faking his eating stance when there was a plastic _thump_ at his back. "Wha-"

"No, you can't eat Lord Egbert!" Casey exclaimed, holding her sword up higher as Dave stood too, letting John lay on the living room floor in near giggles. "I am Princess Casey Strider and this is Princess Becky Strider, and you, Dragon Redglare, are going to be defeated!" She took a swing for Dave, hitting him in the leg as Becky ran up and thumped his arm. "Take that!" she yelled.

Dave swayed backward dramatically, throwing an arm over his forehead as he did, falling backward on the couch. "No! I have been hit by these Princesses' magic swords! I am wounded and I cannot continue…" Casey and Becky high fived as Dave lay "dying" on the couch. "Curse… you…" He dramatically slumped limp, listening to the sounds of the two girls cheer happily in victory, and watching them help John up off the ground.

"We did it, Lord Egbert! We killed Redglare!"

John smiled and stole a glance toward Dave, holding out his hand. "That you did. Now I think this dragon needs some ice cream for at least trying to invade our village. And these two princesses need some for saving me." They cheered even happier, running off toward the kitchen to await their treat as Dave took John's hand and stood in front of him. "You're the biggest dork I know," John admitted, shaking his head as Dave stole a kiss, embracing him.

"Yeah. But I do it ironically. Thought you would have figured this out by now."

John laughed like he was still sixteen, only for Becky's cough to interrupt. "Excuse me, Lord Egbert, Redglare, stop kissing and come get some ice cream!"

They looked at each other and chuckled, and Dave scooped John up in his arms, roaring a little. "Do not worry, fair Princesses!" John exclaimed as Dave went jogging down the hall, unable to keep himself from laughing, arms around Dave's neck. "We're coming!"

They spent the rest of the afternoon eating ice cream (two gallons of vanilla and an entire bottle of chocolate syrup), and then curled up in the parents' bed to watch a movie, which all of them were asleep thirty minutes into Con-Air, tired from saving the village- or in Dave's case, destroying it- and all the sugar they had.

And none of them would have ever wanted to spend their snow day any way else.


End file.
